You’re already a GREAT guy to begin with. But is that what the ladies SEE?
Your grumpy, pessimistic inner critic may tell you differently, yet you’re already a GREAT guy.
Now it’s up to you to make sure the ladies see that!
This is where a lot of guys need help.
You’re still in a beneficial situation because it’s just a matter of UNLEASHING what is already there.
Want to know how? Check this out:
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Let me ask you something: does meeting quality women, on a REGULAR basis, feel like looking for the searching for a needle in the haystack?
If you’re like most guys, you’ve probably gone down the road of ‘Hitting The Clubs’.
You know what I’m talking about: you and your buddies go out to the nearest bar, have a few drinks, and wait for a group of hot babes to come your way.
Some seduction experts use these clubs as their so-called ‘training grounds’ to get their students’ started.
The eager hopefuls test their newly learned skills on the unsuspecting females that enter the door.
Although this seems like a brilliant plan, the women at these places are already EXPECTING to get chatted up during the night (especially the hot ones!).
The possibility of running into a girl who takes pleasure in shooting down guys’ ego is huge with this approach.
If you’re lucky enough to meet one of these she-devils in disguise, then don’t say I didn’t warn you.
This is probably why the most obvious choice ISN’T always the most effective one.
Approaching several strangers in one night will help get over your fear of interaction, yet this is NOT the only way to meet women and you shouldn’t limit your options to this familiar route.
I want you to step back and look at the big picture. LIFE is BUZZING with opportunity.
There are several paths to success, so get used to changing your sails if the prevalent winds aren’t in your favor.
It may make you feel uncomfortable to try a different and unfamiliar approach to getting what you want, yet this is a GOOD thing.
Being uncomfortable means you’re leaving your safe little zone of comfort and doing something NEW.
This means you’re evolving as a person, gathering valuable experience and LEARNING something new.
So repeat after me: DISCOMFORT IS GOOD. THIS is the mindset you should have when dating.
Maybe you’re thinking ALL the hot women hang out in the same places. Well, that’s a big negative.
It may come as a big surprise to you that NOT all gorgeous and brainy women stack into bars or nightclubs.
Wouldn’t it be nice to meet a nice girl WITHOUT the pre-packaged pressure that comes with those places?
Think about it: there’s already a heavy context involved with walking up to a woman in a bar. Like it or not, but a lot of movies and TV shows have caused us to associate these places with picking up women.
I mean, they’ve practically ETCHED that notion into our conscious. This creates a situation where you’re broadcasting TOO much interest before you’ve even opened your mouth.
Because of this flaw, I’d like to talk about the backdoor to the world of seduction.
Luckily, these alternate paths to meeting women aren’t a big secret. They’re in plain sight and all you need is to BROADEN your perspective outlook.
Your FRIENDS are an often overlooked area to dating bliss. I’m not talking about rounding up the boys for a night out on the town, but about your overall SOCIAL CIRCLE.
This includes colleagues, high school/college buddies, co-workers and so on. Just think, you’re smack-dab in the middle of a very LARGE web of people who have ‘webs’ of their own.
This is a vast field of opportunities that’s just waiting to explore. I’d say a sizeable chunk of these people are (or know) women who fit what you like.
This is where the expression ‘all the good women are taken’ fizzles into the sweet reality of ABUNDANCE. Quality women are hardly in short supply, my friend.
There are a lot of advantages to to taking this route. First, your friends can provide the social proofing which you would have to build on your own in a fresh setting.
Having a friend to introduce you to a promising candidate is a great way to be pre-qualify without having to open your mouth!
You must carry a delightful conversation on your own after the introduction, but at least it won’t look like you’re bragging when your friend is telling her good things about you.
Also, being in the company of friends cuts down on the awkwardness factor.
This factor applies to when in a relaxed setting where your end goal is to have a good time and not getting her phone number right there and then.
Think of a personal introduction as a ‘pre-first date’; you get to see how she’s like in social situations, and it’s much easier to ask her out later on since you have the chance to build some rapport first.
Plus, you don’t have to worry about keeping one person entertained the whole time either. We’ve all had situations where it was hard to come up with something to talk about.
Most of all, you’ll get to gauge the level of interest between you two ‘ helpful information’ before taking things up another level. Sounds like a sweet deal, right?
You get to have a good time while investing in your love life at the same time. If it doesn’t work out, you’ll still have fun, so there’s NO PRESSURE to succeed right here and now.
To get into this kind of situation, you can tell your friends outright that you’re on the market.
Ask them to bring along any single friends of their own, but it doesn’t have to be a blind date.
In fact, avoid blind dates altogether because it defeats the very purpose of going out with friends (the lack of awkwardness and pressure). Instead, just ask your pals to bring along anyone to your group get-togethers.
They may even invite you to meet someone who they think might be a fit match for you (provided that it’s NOT an actual date). There’s no shame in asking for their help; chances are they’ll be more than happy to set you up.
Keep things light and fun, so remind your friends not to tell those ladies you’re on the lookout. All you need is the introduction so you can take it from there.
Now there’s the added dimension of extending your circle of friends into the virtual world. I don’t have to tell you we’re living in the age of the Internet because that’s the very reason you’re reading this.
Therefore, there’s a huge chance you and your friends (and their cute friends) are probably part of an online social network such as the insanely popular Facebook. Sites like these are an excellent place to complement your dating pursuits.
If you’re already on one of these sites, check to see if your existing profile needs polishing up a bit.
This is a key component of your online efforts because your profile acts as a social resume which should complement the most attractive aspects of your personality.
As a general rule of thumb, your profile should have just enough information to give everyone a hint of what a great guy you are, but not too long that it becomes boring.
In the description, avoid putting anything too silly or highfalutin. It’s especially bad to make any direct or indirect references to sex because that just screams ‘DESPERATE’.
The vibe a reader should get is that you’re a cool guy who takes part in and likes a lot of things.
So include information about your interests, hobbies, passionate causes or anything else that makes you a balanced and interesting kinda guy.
As for the relationship status, go with ‘single and looking to date’ or any similar option to that effect.
You don’t want to keep any prospects away by choosing a status that casts doubt on your availability, like ‘it’s complicated’.
Any self-respecting social networking site will allow its users to post pics of their hip and happening adventures in the offline world.
Whether it’s mountain biking, having awesome times with your friends, or hobbies, your pictures should feature you in different upbeat social situations for logical reasons.
Post pics of things like parties, concerts, comic book conventions and/or any other events which look interesting.
Now that you’ve done the groundwork, it’s time to put yourself out there. Once your friends introduce you to someone that you find attractive, casually ask if she’s on one of those sites. This is key!
I’m betting your mutual friend has Ms. Attractive on their contact list anyway, so this shouldn’t be a problem.
After you’ve added her up, wait for around two weeks before you interact with her online.
For starters, make a brief but funny comment on one of her pictures or status messages. While this is subjective ground to walk on, many people will have the same idea of what’s annoying, creepy or stalker-ish (which is what you’ll want to AVOID here).
Remember, it needs to be light-hearted and casual at the beginning after this two week wait.
After this two-week time frame, you should be able to create enough comfort to ask her out on another group outing. Be assertive and invite her to an event that you and your mutual friends are going to.
This invite is keeping the relationship warm and not going too fast, which could turn her off.
For example, if there’s a cool band playing in the area, you can tell her she should come along because it’s going to be a lot of fun.
Try something like, ‘Hey there, we’re going to watch _________ this weekend and I thought you might want to check them out as well.’
Eventually, you’ll be able to casually establish the right amount of familiarity with your friend’s friend.
If you’re feeling bold enough, go ahead and take the chance of asking her out on an exclusive date.
It’s important to not get any images of candlelit dinners or sappy stuff like that, just YET.
You don’t want to transition too jarring for her, right? Start off with something as simple as asking her to come with you to check out some new releases at the record store or drop by the upcoming art exhibit at the museum.
As casual as these dates may seem, it gives you an edge because again, she’s not pressured into a romantic scenario.
It also gives you plenty of time to have shared experiences with her.
Who knows, one thing may lead to another in due time. If things develop between you two, it transpired in a relaxed setting.
As far as the feminine perspective goes, this is PERFECT. She can’t deny fate if the lucky girl ends up being attracted to you along the way?
Besides, she’d be blind not to SENSE your lingering interest behind the invitation. The cool thing about it is that you’re not showing your interest too LOUDLY or QUICKLY.
If she agrees to go out with you, she’s on the same page, or is WILLING to see what happens at the very least.
Otherwise, be cool about it and move on with your life. Whatever happens, you’ll still end up with another friend in your life.
Take comfort because your flourishing social network is full of other people you can meet.
This keeps from pressuring you or her.
Just remember that social networking sites are NOT a replacement for a healthy social life.
They’re only a means to meet talented women in PERSON, and not for exchanging emoticon chats or memes with them.
It may take a while for you to develop your network of online AND offline friends, yet you just need to invest enough time and effort to make it WORK for YOU.
Once you’ve reached a level where you’re always going out and meeting new people, all you need to do is MAINTAIN this framework.
The bottom line being the ease of getting your foot in the door. All that’s required is to open your mind of the possibility that ending up with your dream girl can happen in the most casual or everyday circumstances.
One last thing before I let you go – if you want to know more about projecting an alpha-male personality to your friends (and THEIR beautiful friends), and taking your winning confidence to the next level of attraction, definitely look at how to meet your sweet:
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